To do whatever is required of you in any situation without it becoming a role that you identify with is an essential lesson in the art of living that each one of us has to learn.
You are most powerful, most effective, when you are completely yourself.
~ Eckhart Tolle : A New Earth.
Deb, her dog Ollie and I went for a walk this morning along one of our local beaches. The sun was shining and it was warm again – for June. There was no need for a jacket. Barefoot; we walked on the very edge of the ocean. As always, it felt good.
It occurred to me that after battling some really wild weather of late, the beach looked ragged, worn and a little beaten up – but was still beautiful, strong and powerful when you looked beyond the surface.
A bit like how we both probably felt sometimes…battling the ‘same shit, different bucket’ as Deb has often put it – perfectly. We’ve all been there, or most of us have anyway, because we all have something going on, we all have a story – some buckets are just fuller than others
“How are you going?” Deb asked after we’d been walking for awhile.
“I’m doing OK,” I replied honestly, and then we went on to talk about a dozen different things, as we always do. We laughed, we discussed in earnest, we almost cried…but then we have had these kinds of conversations for too many years to count – even just driving through the busy streets of Sydney; at a time when we didn’t have a care in the world.
True story: on one of these trips , we laughed that much one morning on our way into the city (or were we crying) or maybe we laughed until we cried- that Deb ended up with mascara in her eyes. Driving blind, she crossed two lanes of traffic and jumped a curb, without hitting one single car. When we came to a stop, we looked at each other stunned and burst out laughing. This has absolutely nothing to do with what I was writing about; except to demonstrate I guess that having someone to laugh and cry with is a pretty important tool to have when going through – anything.
After our walk I thought for a while about what else has helped me to continue putting one foot in front of the other as my family continue on our cancer roller coaster. I can honestly say that besides a strong faith, a really good daily practice and loads of love …I try not to get too far ahead of myself, and so far that’s working.
Sure I and we (husband, kids and me) make plans, both short and long term, but we put most of our energy into what we’re doing today…. and today has been a really good day! Nothing out of the ordinary – just a good day.
Then I thought about the few sentences I’d read in A New Earth recently ( I have added them to the top of this post) and I realised that in taking things as they come, the best way we can, we are not focusing on roles, we are just being us. Those few sentences started to make a lot of sense to me.
By being ourselves without role playing (carer, parent, victim, cancer patient…you get the drift) , and staying in the moment….it kinda makes the rest doable for the most part. For me anyway. This doesn’t mean I don’t have an acute sense of what our situation is, it just means that like the beach today, I too can feel a little battered and bruised some days without losing my hope, strength and power.
And that can only be a good thing!
I know my husband will be disappointed when he reads this post because that’s not the Role Playing story I think he was hoping for … but I bet he reads it all the way to the end just incase 😉 !!
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!