Have you ever had a friend, family member, work colleague or even an acquaintance that has blown up completely, in a way that you thought was over the top or out of character? I sure have. I’m pretty sure I’ve even been the one to blow up, or meltdown – for want of a better word!
After reading a meme on facebook (as you do) about this very thing, I got to thinking about why that happens, for me anyway, as the last few years of my life have been the perfect case study for this very topic.
It occurred to me that when people (like me for instance) are going through something unimaginably difficult, they can’t afford to have a meltdown about it, because if they did, they may not ever see themselves recovering and moving forward.
So something seemingly easy to negotiate from someone else’s perspective comes along and you find yourself blowing up all over it!
Eg: My husband get’s cancer, recovers, relapses, loses his leg to cancer, learns to walk again, finds out the cancer can’t be cured at this point but can be managed – and we accept all this news on the chin and get on with it.
Our kids start high school and end up with what feels like an unmanageable amount of homework, coming from all directions in the first term, and we (husband and I, but mostly me) blow up about it all over the place. Yes, I did seriously consider home schooling and did look into how to make that happen. (you can stop laughing now…my tribe who know me best)
Now that we have all settled into our new rhythm, I have looked back and thought – how do I handle the day to day of living with my husband’s cancer without blowing up, yet the first term of kids in high school nearly tipped me over the edge.
As I touched on above, the answer ended up being quite easy really: If I let myself lose it over cancer – I don’t know if I can come back from that. Homework – mehh, I can lose it over homework any given day and not lose one minute sleep.
The thing is, most of us are dealing with stuff (big stuff sometimes) that others never know about. So, it can be the little things, and some not so little things, that tip us over the edge, because we can’t afford to lose it over the really big stuff.
It seems like such a simple truth that I don’t know why it has taken me so long to work it out.
Next time you think you may be witnessing someone lose their shit over something you think is insignificant, or handleable, consider your reaction. Offering kindness amidst a meltdown is one of the most compassionate things you can do. None of us know the burdens of another…kindness in difficult situations is the key.
I promise if you blow up over life’s daily challenges or have a meltdown in front of me I won’t judge. Why? Well for a start that would be unkind, but mainly because I know the next one melting down – could very well be me.
feature image credit: unknown original source found on google images.