A Curated TBT Post: from my original blog: the storyofus4.blogspot.com.au
Next week we head to Sydney for a consult for the new immunotherapy trial Bren has been signed up for. It got me thinking; as I remembered a post I had written on my previous blog dated 18 April 2015. Back then I was pondering the things I didn’t know cancer could do. Things I know now through my family’s experience. Things I wish someone had told me. I’m adding the post here. As Brendan’s journey continues, there are people we know and love just starting theirs.
Things I didn’t know that cancer could do …
Cancer is a family affair. It can and will change your life in many ways, not all of those will be bad, and you may actually find a lot of them to be amazing. You will see darkness and light at unexpected times and in unexpected ways. Cancer is the greatest game of hurry up and wait that I have ever played.
You may behave irrationally when you or someone you love has cancer. It can bring out your strengths. It can bring out your weaknesses. It brings out the best in people. It brings out the fear in people. It may bring out the extraordinary in some and the ordinary in others. You will be shown what you need to see.
Family, friends and community mean everything.
Egos are fragile and can come into play at the most unexpected times no matter what you do or who you are.
There are as many varied types of cancer and ways to treat it as there are people living with it. You will probably hear about them all. Cancer is not a death sentence.
You can choose whether or not to be fearful of cancer. People can have cancer and still enjoy a healthy sex life and sometimes that’s not the case. Cancer is a massive inconvenience, well I knew that but still nobody ever actually mentioned it. It will change your life without your permission and take you on a roller-coaster ride you were never prepared to go on.
There is more than one way to skin a cat…same with fighting cancer. I have no idea where the skin a cat saying comes from…obviously not from a cat lover. I hate cancer, hate is a strong word but appropriate. Very few people know the right thing to say when they find out you or a loved one has cancer. And that’s OK, because there is no right thing to say.
You will end up with more Tupperware containers in your cupboard than you have room for, you will also feel grateful for every morsel of food that came with them. You will not remember who gave which container; they will rarely get back to their rightful owners.
You can be pretty sure that no matter how others around you behave during your cancer story they are absolutely doing the best they can, just like you. Most times when you are shown the best in others it will take your breath away.
Prepare to be breathless most of the time.
What cancer cannot do…
- cripple love
- shatter hope
- dissolve faith
- destroy peace
- kill friendship
- suppress memories
- silence courage
- steal eternal life
- conquer the spirit
Featured image: What cancer cannot do. a poster that hung in the Day Therapy waiting room at Chris O’Brien Lifehouse. I read it the first day we were there.