11 July 2014…the waiting game

It’s almost a  month since Brendan’s initial consultation with his doctor, at the Sydney cancer clinic. His biopsy was three weeks ago and he received the results over a week ago  — confirming that he has a large sarcoma in his right femur and a smaller one in his left. We are hoping to know soon what the next course of action is. I have an uneasy feeling that time is of the essence. I rang and spoke to Molly today, a pleasant, helpful girl in Dr Ps’ private rooms and she has assured me that they will let us know what’s happening as soon as possible. I hope to hear something by tomorrow.

Waiting has been a lesson in patience that I’m failing at miserably. I have had two people message me in the last few days, both with their own cancer experiences, telling me that the wait has been too long and we need to do something about it. I trust our medical team down there, but I’m worried too.  We need to find out what the delay is. Throughout the past month Brendan has remained calm, upbeat and  strong. I wonder if I were in his shoes would I show the same courage. I hope so. This is challenging, frustrating and at the moment out of our control.

We are trying to keep the mood high and laughter plentiful in an effort to maintain a sense of normality, for the kids especially. The waiting game is putting a strain on my ability to do that. Im feeling frayed and on edge. I don’t know how anything works when it comes to cancer, cancer treatment or anything else cancer related. It’s a new world for us. All I want is for Bren’s treatment to start yesterday, so he  will be well again. I know the world is busy and he is not the only cancer patient on the list. but he is my only one and the only father my children have. I can’t have him waiting any longer then he has to.

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