The wait is finally over, after a very long few weeks it is now all go. Brendan’s treatment starts this Tuesday. Last Wednesday, not being able to wait any longer without knowing what was going on, I sent an email off to the Chris O’Brien Lifehouse Sarcoma Multidisciplinary Team requesting a treatment plan, and that same day we asked our GP if he could call them and or fax them as well. As Murphy’s Law would have it the very next day we had a call from one of the doctors to say they wanted Brendan down there pronto.
We are now packing and getting organised, ready to hit the road to the city again. This time it feels more daunting than before, it’s not just sitting down talking to doctors and specialists, I have no problem talking. It’s not waiting for scans or even knowing that your husband is going to be cut open and stitched back up. This time it feels real, Brendan is wading into the unknown and I am watching him from as close by as I will be allowed to be, we have no idea how his body is going to react to the chemo.
Sometimes I hear myself screaming very loudly on the inside at the thought of Brendan going through all of this. I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels for him. Someone who knows only to well recently said to me “you realise when going through this treatment just how sick you have to actually be before you’re dead”. It was really confronting to hear, yet I know the message was not meant to frighten me, it was to let me know that we are all much, much stronger than we think we are, and that the human body, mind and spirit has the capacity to fight and win against incredible odds…the road is about to get rocky, and yes we know this is just the beginning, but it is a road many have trodden before or are still, and it is one Brendan will tread with courage and strength.
In his words when asked how he is coping, he said “you have two choices, you can fall over in a heap or you can just keep moving forward”. He has never been one to stand still or take a backward step, and that’s why he will always choose to move forward.
Lifehouse….here we come!
NB: this is an archived post written in 2014 transferred from a previous blogging format