Laughter is the best medicine and that is a simple truth. Last night I went out. It’s the third time I’ve had a night out since losing Bren. My first two outings were quiet events for the most part, and not nerve racking at all.
Both were intimate affairs. A glass of wine, some nibbles, a little conversation with friends and taking in beautiful works of art. Elegant occasions that were a gentle re introduction into the world of being social as a single. And I don’t mean single ready to mingle single. I just mean single, sans partner — stepping out without my man single.
Which brings me back to last night. Hands down the funniest night out I’ve had, maybe ever. Mainly because 5 hilarious comedians showed up to Ol Ba (had to be there) Tav, and brought the house down. Did I mention one came all the way from Wallabi Point! They pulled a great crowd and we loved it. All of us.
It was a good night with good friends and family, but after the show finished and the lights came up, I couldn’t wait to get home. It’s hard to explain why, but I’ll try…
Being Ok after great loss is more than putting one foot in front of the other and getting on, and it’s that too. But what isn’t obvious is the energy it takes to be OK. It is a constant battle against every ache in your being that threatens to crumple you, as you try to function in what appears to be a normal way. Which is actually now your normal way anyway…if that makes sense.
So, now throw in the thought of mingling, where the aim is to have fun and not be the reason why those around you don’t …and you can end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted — before you’ve put on your last lashings of lip gloss, kissed the kids, pet the dog and walked out the door.
See when you mingle, you have to talk. And when you are grieving the loss of someone you love, and are asked how you are, (let’s face it it’s the way we all start most conversations) you have two choices…tell the truth or lie. Both are exhausting and so it’s easier to take my leave as soon as I can, before too much small talk occurs.
I was able to do that last night, and I did have a really good night. I know with time socialising outside of my comfort zone will become easier. I ‘m looking forward to doing it again and by that I mean being one in a crowded room full of friends and strangers, doing what people do when they’re out and about … although, I think last night will be a hard act to follow when it comes to entertainment value. And not just because I got to smell Tommy Little before I left — I can tell you… he smelt great! Just ask Kel 😉