When we found out Brendan had Cancer one of our main concerns was how it would affect the kids. Our plan of attack was pretty simple. Keep things as normal as possible and laugh often. We knew, for a while anyway, that we wouldn’t be going on outings on weekends — home would be it and keeping our family’s normal rhythm would be one of the most important things we could do.
Brendan and I had rarely left the kids for more than a day before his cancer diagnosis, and this is where our families have stepped in, without fuss or fanfare, allowing them to sleep in their own beds, with their own things around them, and still play each afternoon with their friends in the street. Everyone we know is working really hard on our behalf to keep things as normal as it can be for them.
The other thing we have done to protect them from feeling frightened about what is happening, is to be honest with them about what their dad is going through. If they have questions; they ask, we answer and they know it is the truth. We have also shared our story publicly so that our friends, family and community know the truth about what is happening too. The benefit of this is that concerned friends and acquaintances don’t have to ask about Brendan’s well-being in front of the kids when we are out and about as they are hearing updates straight from us.
We won’t know fully how this life-changing experience has affected our babies, until one day when they are grown; if they choose to share with us how it affected them. Until then all we can do is surround them with love and hope that it is a time they can look back on and be reminded that we are stronger than we know and that with love and determination anything is possible.
I would like to finish by wishing all the Dads out there a wonderful fathers day, especially the one in our house…I hope you all know how very much you are loved, appreciated and honoured today and always xx
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