April

April was a great month. There was much to celebrate including family and friends birthdays and reno progress of our new, bigger store. I was also shown another perspective when it comes to death, grieving and moving forward in a life that no longer includes my husbands physical presence. He has now been gone for longer than his fight to stay.

That perspective came in an unexpected way. Greys Anatomy Season 17. Ep 10 breathe – this episode really moved something in me. It felt like the conversations the characters were having were written for me to hear. And I know some how Bren made sure I did. I watched Ep10 the night before I went to my friend Vicks 60th birthday party.

I had the best night and had to write the next day to let him know (even though Im sure he didn’t miss any of it). All he wanted when he was here was to make the kids and me happy and I know that hasn’t changed.

The Purpose of our lives is to be happy

– Dalai Lama

Dear Bren,
I went out last night to celebrate a Vicks birthday. She is an amazing and knows on the deepest level how I feel on any given day. Glenn wasn’t able to be there either and I hope wherever you both might be, you were looking down or better still mingling among us and beside us – as we all celebrated in the best kind of way.


I danced, I laughed, I enjoyed myself – with good food, a little wine, great music and wonderful friends. You would have loved every minute and most probably did.

As you know, I haven’t felt like getting out and about much since you left. Large crowds are daunting. I prefer to avoid them when I can, but I watched something recently that reminded me why I’m here and how lucky I am to be here and it gave me more motivation than I’ve had in a long time to be the girl we knew.

I love you and miss you and know you are proud of me today.
Your loving wife

Jocksie xx

what a night we had xxx

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