2018 a Year for Change: My top 10

It’s 2018! Time is passing quickly and that is out of our control. As a 52 year old widow and mum to two pretty amazing 14 year olds, this year I’m just going with it! I miss my husband, he is in my every waking thought, every breath I take and is my every heartbeat. I…

It’s Christmas time Again

So it’s Christmas time again… and if it is a time you celebrate — you will also know it can be the busiest, happiest, most stressful and for some the most heartbreaking time of the year. For me, I will get through the day the best way I can this year, as I consider how…

3/12/17 – It’s December already.

It’s December and with that comes another first. I don’t really know how I feel about the month ahead. Numb probably explains it best. I am going through the motions, getting things done and for the most part trying to feel normal, it’s a new normal but one I’m trying hard to create … even…

The Night We Met

Daily Prompt: Percussive I could feel the percussive rhythm of my heart beating almost out of my chest. I had never done anything like this before. But there was something about this guy. I could not let this moment pass or I might regret it for the rest of my life. He was easily the…

24/11/17: Write it Down

It’s been 731 days since the excitement of heading off to Queensland on what would have been our last family Gold Coast holiday. I remember even packing for that trip was fun – sadly, we didn’t get there.  Now I can’t remember the last time we made that trip together, as a family, and I’m…

29/10/17: Death – a conversation

Death: a single moment in time where all that comes before is living; and so too, all that comes after. Grief is an ongoing process; reading through and organising my diary entries from the last 3 years has been a cathartic part of that process for me. Portions of the following post have come from a diary entry made…

10-10-17 Beautiful Painful

I’m sure many have experienced the depth of sadness and undeniable beauty I have, in a pure and joyous moment of remembering — where both the beauty of a cherished memory and the pain of devastating loss can be experienced simultaneously – enhancing each to a level barely tolerable and yet you let the feeling…

25-09-17: you can’t please everyone

Four weeks to the day after losing Brendan I received a message from a couple who are well known to us. Even so, we have barely seen them throughout Bren’s illness. The message explained that they were in the area and wanted to see the kids and I as much as they could while they…

17/09/17: Are you OK

One of the most important things we wanted to make sure the kids understood, when the time came, was even though dad was gone it was still OK to laugh and be happy about things.

Two weeks already

Two weeks: and although it had already been a while since he could, it still feels like Bren could walk through the door any minute. It doesn’t feel final, or that he has really gone anywhere. And I know that’s because he hasn’t in anything but a physical sense. This doesn’t make us miss him…

Cancer: the story of us – The End.

I had never seen him happier than when our brother Andy helped him get back on his surfboard for the first time after his amputation, or sadder than when he stood, leaning on his crutches, tears rolling down his face as he watched the boys surf second corner.

Good Grief

Grief is a funny thing. Not laugh out loud funny – more odd funny. And like dealing with pregnancy, raising children, training dogs, painting houses and any number of other things, we all have our own way of doing it.