Secondary Grief

I understand the concept of secondary grief and have experienced it in many ways since Bren died. I knew right from the beginning Grief, in any form, wasn’t something I’d conquer or get over. Now, almost a year and a half down the track I know, at least, that for all the hard days there…

How I’ve Changed with Widowhood

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence … (from Desiderata) If only it were that easy. Although once able to find an inner calm and peaceful silence in meditation & Reiki — or a simple walk on the beach, it’s not been easy since being…

Birthdays

Dear Bren, Hey Babe, a year on and I’m still trying to work grief out; or work through it, get around it, over it or even just understand it. At times like these, you’re on my mind constantly. Your birthday a little over a week ago, and our twinnies birthdays in less than a week….

Rise – Finding My Way

It’s been eleven months since my husband’s death and I am at the very beginning of a new project, undertaken in part to ease the loss and deep heartbreak I’m going through.  My chest aches physically every day and has since he left. I worry sometimes that my heart is irreparable.  I am struggling to…

Devoted to my husband

As we approach the 12 month mark since Bren’s death I wanted to make sure our devotion wall to him was finished. It is in our lounge and is now complete with a beautiful navy wood cross & ocean seashell strand from The Shed Luxe, sitting alongside works of art from our great friend Ali…

5 Comedians Walked into a Bar

Laughter is the best medicine and that is a simple truth. Last night I went out. It’s the third time I’ve had a night out since losing Bren. My first two outings were quiet events for the most part, and not nerve racking at all. Both were intimate affairs. A glass of wine, some nibbles,…

15 April 18 – Grief anniversaries

Dear Bren, I hadn’t stopped to think a great deal about grief anniversaries until those were the anniversaries I was sharing with you babe. I have read lot’s about them lately, it’s like when you buy a blue car and you see blue cars everywhere. Since living with grief, every day there seems to be…

25 March 2018 —  thinking of you

Hey Babe It’s late, after midnight, sleep is eluding me again. Im tired but that doesn’t seem to make any difference. It’s odd how comfortably duality sits snugly within the same space these days. Beautiful/painfully, happy/sad…sleepy/wide awake. Tonight I’m tired and can’t sleep, again. I’m tired/awake, it’s kind’ve become my normal, and I know that…

5 Things I Found To Be True After Being Widowed

I would agree with the fact that the death of a spouse is at the top of the list of the most stressful events we might ever go through. Like the author of the source post for this post, I lost my husband too soon. As many who have followed our story know, he died…

31/01/18: A letter to my husband

Hey Babe, It’s been 5 months now since I’ve seen you, chatted with you, kissed you or held your hand. I have missed you each and every day. Most days I let myself think you’re just at work, or out surfing or training for a triathlon. It’s not a deliberate decision — more a thought…