Somewhere Over the Rainbow

An open letter.   To the Management, Cast and Crew of The Wizard of Oz. Thank you. I imagine you all know the role you play in bringing joy to those of us lucky enough to sit in the seats of the beautiful theatres you play, allowing us to escape, even if only for a…

It’s Christmas time Again

So it’s Christmas time again… and if it is a time you celebrate — you will also know it can be the busiest, happiest, most stressful and for some the most heartbreaking time of the year. For me, I will get through the day the best way I can this year, as I consider how…

3/12/17 – It’s December already.

It’s December and with that comes another first. I don’t really know how I feel about the month ahead. Numb probably explains it best. I am going through the motions, getting things done and for the most part trying to feel normal, it’s a new normal but one I’m trying hard to create … even…

24/11/17: Write it Down

It’s been 731 days since the excitement of heading off to Queensland on what would have been our last family Gold Coast holiday together. I remember even packing for that trip was fun – sadly, we didn’t get there.  Now I can’t remember the last time we made that trip together, as a family, and…

29/10/17: Death – a conversation

Death: a single moment in time where all that comes before is living; and so too, all that comes after. Grief is an ongoing process; reading through and organising my diary entries from the last 3 years has been a cathartic part of that process for me. Portions of the following post have come from a diary entry made…

18/10/17 Happy Birthday Bren

Hey Babe, It’s a tough day today. Beautiful painful. Beautiful because today we celebrate an incredible human being, you,  whose humanity was equaled only by how you were loved and how you loved. Painful, because you aren’t here physically to celebrate with us. We miss you babe, and as all the first’s roll around without…

10/10/17 Beautiful Painful

I’m sure many have experienced the depth of sadness and undeniable beauty I have, in a pure and joyous moment of remembering — where both the beauty of a cherished memory and the pain of devastating loss can be experienced simultaneously – enhancing each to a level barely tolerable and yet you let the feeling…

25-09-17: you can’t please everyone

Four weeks to the day after losing Brendan I received a message from a couple who are well known to us. Even so, we have barely seen them throughout Bren’s illness. The message explained that they were in the area and wanted to see the kids and I as much as they could while they…

17/09/17: Are you OK

One of the most important things we wanted to make sure the kids understood, when the time came, was even though dad was gone it was still OK to laugh and be happy about things.

Two weeks already

Two weeks: and although it had already been a while since he could, it still feels like Bren could walk through the door any minute. It doesn’t feel final, or that he has really gone anywhere. And I know that’s because he hasn’t in anything but a physical sense. This doesn’t make us miss him…