One Year Without You

To live a life that inspires others is to have lived a life with purpose. Brendan John Maloney was many things to many people and he loved his family, friends, town and community with all his heart. First and foremost, though, he was a family man.  He was never happier than when he was spending…

Rise – Finding My Way

It’s been eleven months since my husband’s death and I am at the very beginning of a new project, undertaken in part to ease the loss and deep heartbreak I’m going through.  My chest aches physically every day and has since he left. I worry sometimes that my heart is irreparable.  I am struggling to…

5 Comedians Walked into a Bar

Laughter is the best medicine and that is a simple truth. Last night I went out. It’s the third time I’ve had a night out since losing Bren. My first two outings were quiet events for the most part, and not nerve racking at all. Both were intimate affairs. A glass of wine, some nibbles,…

Naked blue

The tepid, clear blue ocean lapped at me gently as it held me buoyant. Me content in my nakedness. Our finger tips just touching every so often. Knowing he was lazing beside me, face to the warm sunny sky, filled me with more happiness than I felt I deserved. And I deserved to be happy. I had waited a long time for a love like this. It was everything I had imagined.

15 April 18 – Grief anniversaries

Dear Bren, I hadn’t stopped to think a great deal about grief anniversaries until those were the anniversaries I was sharing with you babe. I have read lot’s about them lately, it’s like when you buy a blue car and you see blue cars everywhere. Since living with grief, every day there seems to be…

5 Things I Found To Be True After Being Widowed

I would agree with the fact that the death of a spouse is at the top of the list of the most stressful events we might ever go through. Like the author of the source post for this post, I lost my husband too soon. As many who have followed our story know, he died…

Six months …

Half a year, 6 months, 182 and a half days! Time passes quickly, yet days are still long and the nights slow. Dear Bren, There is a lot going on and I’m staying busy. But it doesn’t fill the empty space you leaving has left behind. I think you’d be happy with what we’re doing…

The Night We Met

Daily Prompt: Percussive My Dear Husband, I could feel the percussive rhythm of my heart beating almost out of my chest. I had never done anything like this before. But there was something about you. I could not let this moment pass or I might regret it for the rest of my life. You were…

12/11/2017: No room for Regret.

If in doubt, follow your heart. As with death, in life — there is no room for regret. I guess in some ways this is another cautionary tail. When my husband Bren was diagnosed with pleomorphic sarcoma in June 2014, we were shocked. It is a rare disease and was diagnosed at late stage. He…

29/10/17: Death – a conversation

Death: a single moment in time where all that comes before is living; and so too, all that comes after. Grief is an ongoing process; reading through and organising my diary entries from the last 3 years has been a cathartic part of that process for me. Portions of the following post have come from a diary entry made…