2nd Anniversary – tu me manques

Two Years 24 months 104.286 weeks 730 days 17520 hour … missing from us.   To say I (we) miss you, is — stating the obvious and we both know that’s something I do well. You always teased me about it and we laughed about it and, well, I still do it. I miss you….

Pain Comparison

People are kind and want you to feel better when you have lost someone, they want to help and to fix it for you. But grief is not something that can be fixed. There is nothing that can be said or done to lessen the pain.

1: Before You Go

I think that was the last time a saw him walk like that. I wish I’d known it then. I had always loved the way he moved and I would never see him move that freely again. If I had realised at the time how big that small moment was, how life changing this day would be, I’d have been devastated.

How I’ve Changed with Widowhood

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence … (from Desiderata) If only it were that easy. Although once able to find an inner calm and peaceful silence in meditation & Reiki — or a simple walk on the beach, it’s not been easy since being…

One Year Without You

To live a life that inspires others is to have lived a life with purpose. Brendan John Maloney was many things to many people and he loved his family, friends, town and community with all his heart. First and foremost, though, he was a family man.  He was never happier than when he was spending…

Rise – Finding My Way

It’s been eleven months since my husband’s death and I am at the very beginning of a new project, undertaken in part to ease the loss and deep heartbreak I’m going through.  My chest aches physically every day and has since he left. I worry sometimes that my heart is irreparable.  I am struggling to…

Devoted to my husband

As we approach the 12 month mark since Bren’s death I wanted to make sure our devotion wall to him was finished. It is in our lounge and is now complete with a beautiful navy wood cross & ocean seashell strand from The Shed Luxe, sitting alongside works of art from our great friend Ali…

5 Comedians Walked into a Bar

Laughter is the best medicine and that is a simple truth. Last night I went out. It’s the third time I’ve had a night out since losing Bren. My first two outings were quiet events for the most part, and not nerve racking at all. Both were intimate affairs. A glass of wine, some nibbles,…

15 April 18 – Grief anniversaries

Dear Bren, I hadn’t stopped to think a great deal about grief anniversaries until those were the anniversaries I was sharing with you babe. I have read lot’s about them lately, it’s like when you buy a blue car and you see blue cars everywhere. Since living with grief, every day there seems to be…

25 March 2018 —  thinking of you

Hey Babe It’s late, after midnight, sleep is eluding me again. Im tired but that doesn’t seem to make any difference. It’s odd how comfortably duality sits snugly within the same space these days. Beautiful/painfully, happy/sad…sleepy/wide awake. Tonight I’m tired and can’t sleep, again. I’m tired/awake, it’s kind’ve become my normal, and I know that…