24/11/17: Write it Down

It’s been 731 days since the excitement of heading off to Queensland on what would have been our last family Gold Coast holiday together. I remember even packing for that trip was fun – sadly, we didn’t get there.  Now I can’t remember the last time we made that trip together, as a family, and…

29/10/17: Death – a conversation

Death: a single moment in time where all that comes before is living; and so too, all that comes after. Grief is an ongoing process; reading through and organising my diary entries from the last 3 years has been a cathartic part of that process for me. Portions of the following post have come from a diary entry made…

18/10/17 Happy Birthday Bren

Hey Babe, It’s a tough day today. Beautiful painful. Beautiful because today we celebrate an incredible human being, you,  whose humanity was equaled only by how you were loved and how you loved. Painful, because you aren’t here physically to celebrate with us. We miss you babe, and as all the first’s roll around without…

10/10/17 Beautiful Painful

I’m sure many have experienced the depth of sadness and undeniable beauty I have, in a pure and joyous moment of remembering — where both the beauty of a cherished memory and the pain of devastating loss can be experienced simultaneously – enhancing each to a level barely tolerable and yet you let the feeling…

01/10/17: Brendan loved the ‘Kombi Festival’

‘The Old Bar Festival is not a festival to us…it’s our religion.’ ~ Tyra Maloney Perfectly summed up by our daughter this week, the Kombi Festival as it’s affectionately known in our house is the Maloney Mecca. The first Old Bar Beach Festival was amazing, our kids were toddlers and we pushed them around looking…

27-09-17: The next Step!

A Formidable Pair Brendan and I had what might be considered a pretty traditional relationship. Not for everyone I know—but it worked for us. When it came to the big stuff, like raising a family, we were on the same page and that made the doing easier. I stayed at home with the children, Bren worked…

25-09-17: you can’t please everyone

Four weeks to the day after losing Brendan I received a message from a couple who are well known to us. Even so, we have barely seen them throughout Bren’s illness. The message explained that they were in the area and wanted to see the kids and I as much as they could while they…

14 August 2014…some days are hard

Keeping a positive attitude doesn’t prevent us from going through difficult times. This is something I have come to understand pretty clearly in the last couple of months. Positive thought doesn’t take away the crappy days, or the awful side effects I watch my husband go through, but it does help us to keep putting…

7 August 2014… hair today gone tomorrow

In the shower, on Thursday, when we were getting ready to go down for the next lot of cancer treatment, Bren’s hair started falling out.  It was like, OK today’s the day, and every time he put his hands near his hair some of it fell out. Ironically, he had a pretty good head of…

29 July 2014…chemo wrap-up.

Bren has just wrapped up 7 days of toxicity from his first lot of chemo and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. We have a few things to get our heads around — these are just a couple of our new normals: He has to use his own bathroom. Putting it delicately he…